by Mark Pitstick MA, DC

Introduction

Special thanks to the Helping Parents Heal (HPH) organization for creating stellar ways to heal, transform,
and help others after a child / grandchild passes on.  And kudos to those who kept asking me ‘Are there
any HPH-like organizations for those who are grieving a spouse, sibling, friend, pet, or other loved one?’

The bodily death of a beloved person or pet can be one of the most difficult changes in an earthly experience. Other changes – for example, financial, health, independent living, and relationship break-ups – can also be very challenging.  When two or more of these occur in a short period of time, it’s common to feel overwhelmed.  This program primarily addresses grief after loved ones pass on, but it can also help optimally handle any big changes in life.  (Note: I will use the term ‘change’ instead of ‘loss’ for reasons you’ll learn in this article.)

Many people feel lower energy emotions such as sadness, guilt, hopelessness, suicidal thoughts, and/or anger.  In an attempt to cope, they may choose lower energy actions: excess alcohol and drug use, sexual infidelity or promiscuity, hurting others, self-neglect, and isolation. 

I am not judging or criticizing these attempts to handle the pain and despair that can occur after major life changes.  After the breakup of a four-year relationship at age 21, I felt all those lower energy emotions and made some of those poor choices.  (That’s one reason I can help so many people so powerfully now.  At some point, I learned about focusing on higher energy feelings and choices.  This helped me find silver linings and share them with others.)

If you think that severe and prolonged pain and suffering are unavoidable, there is another way. Feeling the emotions listed above somewhat for a while is normal.  However, there are higher paths than feeling those ways intensely for a long time and choosing actions that can make things worse.  To be clear, as discussed in Key# below, different people grieve in various ways.  While acknowledging and honoring that, this program invites you to consider a new way to respond to big changes.

The Greater Reality Healing Program provides evidence-based information and holistic resources so you can handle all changes with style.  The keys shared below, when used consistently over time, can help you heal. What’s more, the knowledge and recommended action steps can improve every aspect of your life.  Many people have remarkably transformed – not despite, but because of – tough changes.  They now enjoy much greater peace, joy, enthusiasm, and awareness as they lovingly serve others and make our world a better place. 

They did it and you can too.  The program in this article will show you how to journey FROM deeply grieving TO brightly shining.   

Note: Greater Reality Healing meetings and groups are planned to begin in early 2025.  Sign up for free newsletters at SoulProof.com and SoulPhone.org to learn details.  Initially, these free meetings and break-out groups will be online via Zoom.  Over time, people can share this program with others at local in-person groups.  Existing grief groups are also welcome to use all or part of this evidence-based and holistic approach to handling big changes while on earth.

The term greater reality describes the totality of life and all that exists.  Synonyms include the big picture of life, how life is set up, and the nature of reality.  These terms help you remember that your brain and five senses detect only a very small fraction of life.  As your awareness expands and your worldview evolves, you’ll realize how safely and beautifully life is set up. 

The term greater reality healing describes another way to handle life’s biggest changes.  This program is based on ‘The Great News’ . . . ten indications about the nature of reality that are based on much scientific and clinical evidence.  I and Gary E. Schwartz PhD – former Harvard and Yale professor who is now professor emeritus at the University of Arizona – compiled this list while writing our book Greater Reality Living.  We also wrote The Big Picture of Life, a similar book for ages 10 – 16, with Katta Mapes MA, MEd. 

Dr. Schwartz, a pioneer in the fields of behavioral medicine and energy healing, now directs the SoulPhone Project at the Laboratory for Advances in Consciousness and Health.  For over 25 years, he has researched the question ‘Does life continue after bodily death?’  Schwartz and his team of electrical engineers, software developers, evidential mediums, and postmaterial (so-called ‘departed’) luminaries have now scientifically and definitively proven that death is NOT the end of life. 

‘The Great News’ is that you (and everyone else) . . . 
1. are a being of consciousness / energy / spirit who still lives after your earthly body dies.

2. can interact with ‘deceased’ loved ones now and after you pass on.

3. are an integral, infinite, eternal, and beloved part of Source Energy now and always.

4. receive guidance, assistance, and love from angels, guides, and master teachers.

5. are sacredly interconnected with all people, animals, and nature.

6. have special purposes for experiencing this earthly visit now. 

7. may simultaneously manifest in other space-time realities now and after bodily death.

8. have everything you need, no matter what your past or current circumstances, to enjoy the greatest life YOU have envisioned.  (YOU = your higher self / soul / totality of energy)

9. can find peace, joy, meaning, growth, and opportunities for loving service amidst your toughest changes and challenges.

10. co-create how heavenly or hellish your life feels – whether living on earth or elsewhere – by your predominant thoughts, words and actions.

In addition, you will quite likely be able to use SoulPhone technology someday to communicate with postmaterial loved ones and luminaries who can help you, others, and our world. 

Very high degrees of certainty exist for ‘The Great News’ . . . 

  • Statements #1 and 2 are based on scientific research at the University of Arizona using controlled, blinded, replicated, and multi-centered studies published in peer-reviewed scientific journals.
  • Statement #2 is also based on double-blinded laboratory research at five universities and institutes with results published in scientific journals.
  • Statements #3 – 10 are based on clinical research by physicians, psychologists, and / or university professors in the fields of near-death experiences, past life memories, perinatal experiences, life between lives input, shared death experiences, terminal lucidity, and deathbed visions.
  • In addition, experiential evidence – although not validated like scientific and clinical evidence – adds further validity about #1 – 10. This category of evidence includes afterlife contacts, out-of-body experiences, electronic voice phenomena / instrumental transcommunication, and other firsthand experiences.  (Note: as discussed in article #28 Afterlife Contacts I prefer the term ‘afterlife contacts’ to ‘after-death communications’)

Knowing ‘The Great News’ and living accordingly – whatever that means for you – is an integral part of the Greater Reality Healing Program.  To repeat . . . the more you understand about the greater reality, the more you KNOW that this earthly experience is a totally safe, meaningful, and magnificent adventure amidst forever.  This is true despite outward appearances to the contrary during your toughest changes.  Near the end of his earthly experience, Buckminster Fuller – the legendary architect, inventor, philosopher, and futurist – was asked ‘What is the most important message you would like to share with others?’  He paused and said, ‘The Universe is friendly.’   

Armed with this wisdom about how marvelously life is set up, you can increasingly – no matter what is happening to or around you – FOCUS ON HIGHER ENERGY FEELINGS of peace, joy, love, hope, and fulfillment.  You can – even amidst tough times – CHOOSE OPTIMAL ACTIONS of self-care, loving relationships, meaningful lifework, serving others, and compassionate activism. 

And, big take-away alert, you can begin to do that even though you are still feeling sad, angry, guilty, fearful, hopeless, etc.  Just take the first steps with this program.  Are you ready?

Note #1: Disclaimer: This article is intended as a reference source, not to replace professional treatment for physical, emotional, or mental problems.  The author disclaims any liability arising directly or indirectly from the voluntary use of this article. 

Note #2: Evidence-based information and holistic resources to assist your journey FROM deeply grieving TO brightly shining include: 

Note #3: Much evidence-based information and holistic resources are shared in this article.  Please don’t feel overwhelmed and do take it step by step.  Proceeding through the keys in order and taking action steps at your pace is recommended.      


Keys to Greater Reality Healing

 1. Use conscious language
Your words shape how you think and what you believe which, in turn, affect how you feel and act. That’s why it’s so important to use more accurate terms while thinking, speaking, and writing. Upgrading your language can also help you detect signs from your dear ones who graduated from earth school. 

Here’s my understanding of how that works . . . your dear ones are now living in realms characterized by higher energies of peace, joy, love, and gratitude.  If you are overly focused on lower energy emotions, you and they are on a different frequency.  It’s as though they are transmitting and receiving on FM 111 while you’re on AM 87.  You’re more likely to detect their signs and presence when you’re on a more similar wavelength.  Using more accurate and evidence-based terms, instead of archaic fear-based ones, is a big step toward establishing a clear connection. 

Some grieving persons have told me that just this one change of using conscious language made a positive difference.  It helped them more deeply know that their loved ones are alive, well, and very near.  Via the ‘You’ll see it when you believe it’ approach, your heightened knowledge helps you better perceive loved ones now.

Despite the vast amount of evidence that life continues seamlessly after death of the human form, some people still associate the word death with the cessation of life.  That’s why I recommend using other terms that more accurately describe what really happens.  These include pass on, change worlds, transition, cross over, and graduate from earth-school.  Using modifiers with the word ‘death’ can also help; examples include bodily death, death of his human form, and death of her earth-suit.  These improved terms might seem cumbersome at first but, in time, they will become second nature.   

The words seem and appear are used to remind you that your brain and five senses, as amazing as they are, detect much less than 1% of reality.  As such, how things seem and appear often isn’t accurate.  As the old saying goes ‘There is more to life than meets the eye.’  For example, loved ones who have passed on may seem to be ‘dead and gone’ when, in fact, they are very much alive and near.  I and Andrea Lee – RN, doctor of acupuncture, and evidential medium –created the Soul Proof documentary.  A Spiritualist minister we interviewed said: ‘I went to a funeral where the family was crying around the casket and saying how much they will miss him.  And I’m across the room talking to him.’

I don’t use the word ‘lost’ because you can’t really ‘lose’ anything for several reasons.  First, life and love are eternal so you can’t lose beloved people and pets.  Next, all the information, energy, and light that comprises reality is stored in space or zero point field.  Regarding the saying ‘You can’t take it with you’, Dr. Schwartz say ‘You don’t have to take it with you because it’s all right here.’  In addition, you and your dear ones aren’t really solid and separate from each other or Creator.  Those are misunderstandings based on what your senses report versus what the collective evidence now indicates.  Finally, as discussed in article #75, your and their energetic bodies / souls might be together right now in a simultaneous reality. 

I use earthly experience instead of ‘life’ because the former is very brief while the latter is forever.  This new term reminds you that your human incarnation is only relatively real; what seems to be happening is the product of your brain-based and transcendent consciousness.   What you experience is not the same for all people.  From an absolute view of reality, all life is comprised of energy, information, love, and light.  How all that appears to manifest depends on your intentions, level of awareness, and observation point.  (Don’t worry if this doesn’t make sense yet.  I’ll say more later.)

The term postmaterial person describes people who used to live on earth in a physical body.  Their energy / life-force now lives in a different space-time slice of life / dimension / frequency but they can still visit.  This new term, designed by Dr. Schwartz and I, denotes that those who change worlds still have physicality, or can depending on their goals.  Further, they retain their humanity, memories, intelligence, preferences, love, sense of humor, areas of mastery, and much more.  In short, everything about them except their prior earthly body still exists.  The acronym for postmaterial is PMP; we hope this term will someday achieve common use like NDE for near-death experiences. 

The Shining Light Parents Speak book shares highlights of my interviews with 130 amazing parents with one or more children pass on.  I highly recommend the Conscious Language chapter for all people with loved ones – not just children – who have changed worlds.  (The interviews can be watched at Affiliate Leader / Caring Listener Interviews on the HelpingParentsHeal.org website.)

To learn more about these topics, see articles:

      #31 What Is a Postmaterial Person?

      #75 Multilocation / Parallel Realities / Simultaneous Experiences

      #116 Terms for Optimally Living on Earth and Beyond


2. Internalize ‘The Great News’
I mention ‘The Great News’ again because it’s a foundation of this program.  I recommend printing the list of eleven items (on page 2 above) and reading them daily.  This will help you move beyond mere intellectual beliefs to deeply internalized knowledge that can improve every aspect of your life.  (An entire chapter in our book Greater Reality Living shares practical ways to deeply know how life is set up.)    

In the past, you likely suffered needlessly because of beliefs based on archaic misinformation altered by ultra-powerful political and church rulers.  You can now confidently replace those erroneous teachings with contemporary and accurate understandings about the nature of reality. 

Most people understandably have questions about life, death, and the afterlife.  They are concerned, especially if they have been abused, that ‘The Great News’ seems too good to be true.  I answer many of these questions in my:

  • Ask the Soul Doctor book with answers to the 171 most commonly asked ones
  • 121 articles at SoulProof.com/Articles (scan the titles to find ones that address your biggest questions and toughest challenges)
  • The Eleven Questions book with my answers and those of eleven experts to existential questions ‘Who am I? Why am I here?  What happens after I die?’ and others. 

Old wounds from past abuse can block you from really knowing ‘The Great News’ and adjusting the way you live during this human experience.  One of the most powerful ways I know to release these old wounds is with my Holistic Breathing Technique audio program.  I’ve led thousands of people in group sessions and have seen amazingly rapid and profound healings.  This technique also helps you release layers of deep grief, needless fears, and past misinformation. 

The Love, Acceptance, and Forgiveness (LAF) technique helps you achieve just what the title says.  You can do this no matter how much others have physically, emotionally, mentally, and/or sexually abused you.  Loving, accepting, and forgiving them doesn’t require you to condone or ignore their behavior; nor does it remove the importance of seeking legal justice.  It also doesn’t mean that you want to have a relationship with them on earth or in the next phase of life.  However, you suffer the most when you intensely hang on to the past and lower energy emotions.  So I hope you use this simple but powerful technique. 

It’s also important to love, accept, and forgive yourself since people are often so critical of themselves and get stuck in blame, shame, and guilt.  One of my mottoes for having an optimal earthly experience is: ‘Everyone is doing the best they can given their level of consciousness.’  No one benefits when you blame yourself for what you should have, would have, or could have done in the past.  Looking back has the benefit of 20/20 vision, but it’s not always so clear when you’re in the thick of things. 

Start now to release the past so your present and future are outstanding.  There’s a long list of things I would do better if I had known ‘back then’ what I do now.  Honor, learn from, and be grateful for your past despite sometimes ‘missing the mark’ – the original meaning from the Aramaic language for the word ‘sin’.  The LAF technique also helps you repent which means: acknowledge your mistakes, apologize, make amends, and do better in the future. 

Those who abused you may be beginner souls who are just learning their way around the block.  Michael Newton PhD, author of Journey of Souls and Destiny of Souls, and his trained therapists have conducted nearly 60,000 Life Between Lives sessions with deeply hypnotized clients.  This clinical data provides clear indications of what it’s like before coming to earth.  Based on this evidence, Newton estimates that about 85% of people on earth at this time are beginner souls.  (When I read this statistic, I thought ‘Well, that explains a lot of things about life on earth!’

Souls / people with intermediate to advanced levels of energy / consciousness may volunteer, out of love, to be abused to help less evolved souls learn how NOT to be. 

Article #67 about contrast souls helps you also consider the possibility that your abuser(s) are actually soulmates fulfilling roles that YOU asked them to do.  You may be thinking ‘You are crazy!  Why in the world would I do that?’  The short answer is that adversity can strengthen your spiritual muscles and enable you to grow, learn, and serve others at higher levels.  While planning their upcoming earthly experience, ‘The Great News’ is clear so there’s no concern about bodily death, loss, failure, or wanting things to be easy. 

The more clear and peaceful your awareness is, the more obvious ‘The Great News’ will be.  That’s why it’s so important to find answers to your biggest questions, heal old wounds, and love, accept, and forgive yourself and others.

To learn more about ‘The Great News’, read articles:

     #40 Love, Acceptance, and Forgiveness Technique

     #67 Contrast Souls

     #70 Holistic Breathing Technique

     #98 Life Between Lives
 

3. Grieve in your own way
Give yourself permission to mourn in ways that feel right to you. Listen to your inner voice, proceed your way, AND know that help is available if and when you need it.  Others might say to you: ‘You should be over this by now’, ‘Just get another puppy’, or ‘It’s time to find someone else.”  But the grieving process is different for different people.  You may still mourn the physical death of your dear ones even though you know they are still around ‘in spirit’.  Hopefully, as it has for many people who use this program, your grieving will be lighter and more brief. 

My dad Bill Pitstick and I were very close.  After his human form died, I hugged him and cried long, loud, and hard.  It was a very primal release of sadness after ‘losing’ my dear father and best friend.  When he received his terminal diagnosis a few weeks earlier, we talked about the sadness that we both felt.  I said ‘Dad, sadness is like diarrhea . . . don’t try to hold it in.’  Always a fan of a good joke, he laughed out loud.  To learn more about and benefit from his end-of-this-life journey, see article #79. 

By the way, notice my wording ‘after his human form died’.  I didn’t say ‘after he died’ because 99.99% of who and what he is, not was, didn’t die.  That’s such a crucial point that I’ll emphasize repeatedly.  In addition, I used a term that I hope will gain widespread use.  Currently, caregivers – even in hospice – use the term ‘end-of-life’.  You now appreciate why ‘end-of-this-life’ is much more accurate and reassuring. 

Please remember that you don’t have to take this journey alone.  Talk with dear family members, friends, and counselors.  Tell your angels, guides, master teachers, and Creator how you feel.  (The term ‘master teachers’ refers to highly evolved beings whose life and teachings inspired the formation of religions.)  Ask for help in handling big changes with style.  There are many people who have the experience, training, and desire to help so don’t suffer in silence.  Many people go through a point where they need to lean on others.  Perhaps you want to consider how to do that while listening to the soulful song Lean on Me by Bill Withers.  After you’ve healed and transformed, you can help others.   

People mourn differently for a number of reasons . . .  

     a. Your level of soul / energy evolvement: are you at a beginner, intermediate, or more advanced level now? (These terms describe your degree of consciousness, not how young or old your life-force is.  Don’t worry about what level you are now because, as great religious and spiritual teachers across time have said, you can ‘see the Light’ whenever you are ready.)

    b. Your age: in general, elders have more experiences to draw from when things get tough. However, factor (a) can trump this one.  For example, an advanced soul in a young body may react to change more elegantly than a beginner soul in an elderly earth-suit.

     c. The number of ‘changes: getting ‘double teamed’ by two or more big changes in a short period of time can make it more difficult to keep your balance. I recently worked with a woman whose mom passed on and her son’s body died in an accident within a year.  Soon thereafter, her husband lost his vision and, subsequently, his job.  Those are a lot of changes in a short period of time!  With information and resources shared in this program, she was able to increasingly remember ‘The Great News’, live accordingly, and become a greater force for good in our world.

     d. The severity of changes: this factor can be relative depending on other factors. For example, consider the impact upon loved ones when teenagers transition by suicide versus octogenarians pass on while asleep.  Similarly, the murder of an innocent person may create more grief compared to the execution of a serial murderer and rapist.  

     e. The quality of your support team: dealing with big changes is easier when you have a large group of loving and supportive family members, friends, and pets.

     f. Past teachings about life, death, and the afterlife: Have you attended open-minded and open-hearted spiritual centers that did a good job of explaining who you are, why you’re here, and Who walks beside you always? Or have you been exposed to fear-based fundamentalist  preaching that you are sinful, could fry in hell forever, and there’s only one way to salvation?  

Information, resources, and action steps in the following articles have helped many people grieve optimally in their own way:              

            #51 Meditation, Yoga, and Relaxation

            #74 Is Your Life Unfolding Perfectly?

            #79 Changing Worlds in Eight Days

            #88 Prayer


4. Learn the evidence that no one really dies
This is point #1 in ‘The Great News’ because it’s so vital to know that life after death has now been definitively proven. Scientific and clinical evidence – as well as many convincing firsthand experiences – can comfort, inspire, and empower you. You can know, without a doubt, that you will see your loved ones again when you cross over.  What’s more, you can enjoy a different, but very real and meaningful, relationship with them now.

The fear of death is so common and deep-seated that it hampers the earthly experience for many people.  Pair that with ridiculous notions of a fiery eternal hell – and a vengeful dictatorial God – and the stage is set for people to feel fear, guilt, and other lower energy emotions.  Fortunately, all worries about dying are needless – especially in 2025 when scientific proof is announced and demonstrated.  (In addition, those depictions of hell and God are not supported by the collective evidence about the nature of reality.)

Educate yourself about this evidence so you know that bodily death is just a ‘see you later’, not a ‘good-bye’.  Again, the belief that death is the end of life is based on archaic fear-based and uninformed teachings.  It may seem that your loved ones have left you, but that is an optical delusion due to your limited earthly brain and five senses.  Their essence and energy did not and cannot die.  As discussed in the last key of this article, the Greater Reality Healing Program can help you better perceive your loved ones who have changed worlds. 

Discuss the afterlife evidence with close family, friends, and co-workers to more deeply internalize it.  Share it via social media, book clubs, and discussion groups so you and they can more fully internalize the magnificent news that no one really dies.  

In the 1970’s while attending theology school, I read several books by pioneers in the field of thanatology, the ‘scientific’ study of death.  One author shared results of interviews with children who were asked about their conceptions of death.  Many children thought that death was like taking a trip and you would return.  The author commented in a rather patronizing way that they couldn’t comprehend that death was the end of life.  Decades later, it’s ironic that their perceptions were spot on.  Death IS a lot like taking a trip and enjoying another never-ending but oft-changing adventure in eternity.  

Two clinical fields that support this view are ‘death bed visions’ and ‘shared death experiences’.  Before passing on, people sometimes report seeing postmaterial visitors who, it is felt, are there to assist the dying person back Home.  (Interestingly, many doctors, nurses, and family members have also glimpsed these otherworldly visitors.)  

My 92-year-old mom Virginia had two death bed visions in 2023 several days before she left her body.  Mom was largely comatose for over a week and only slightly awakened a few times a day while mumbling incoherent phrases.  However, the following two events suggest that her closest postmaterial loved ones were there to assist her journey to the next phase of life. 

During the first one, mom energetically tried to get out of her hospital bed.  When her caregiver asked what she needed, mom said ‘Bill and June are here.  I’ve got to get ready to go with them!’  (Bill was / is her husband and June her beloved sister.)  The second time, after another vigorous attempt to get out of bed, mom said ‘I’ve got to pack.  I’m going on vacation.’  Our family was heartened by these signs that she was indeed aided by loved ones.

Some people feel closer to pets and other animals than they do most people.  This is especially common for more evolved, sensitive, and/or empathic persons who can feel the lower energies of imbalanced and hurtful people.  Unless they have been severely mistreated, pets provide unconditional love and close companionship that some people haven’t found in human relationships.  If you’re a big fan of ‘furry spirits’, you’ll be glad to know that solid clinical evidence indicates that the life-force / consciousness of animals continues after bodily death.  Energy can’t be destroyed but can change form.  Actual scientific research on afterlife for animals hasn’t, to my knowledge, been conducted yet; we look forward to doing that with SoulPhone technology in the future.  See article #22 to learn more about animals and the afterlife.

To learn the evidence that life continues beyond bodily death, read the following:  

     #1 Scientific Evidence That Bodily Death Is NOT the End of Life 

     #22 When Your Pet Transitions from Earth

     #60 Clinical Evidence That Life Continues After Physical Death

     #95 Death Bed Visions

     #115 Experiential Evidence for Life After Death

     The Afterlife Evidence book

     Soul Proof book         

5. Walk with your spiritual support team
It’s been said that an atheist is a person with no invisible means of support.  Much clinical and experiential evidence indicates the reality of higher energy assistance that is available to all.  Depending on your religious or secular orientation, you may refer to this assistance as coming from angels, guides, master teachers or highly advanced energies. 

Some data from the SoulPhone Project indicates the reality of angels, but this hasn’t been fully researched. On several occasions, the participating research medium invited an angel to participate in experiments.  In one design, sensors measured the electromagnetic energies emanating from an angel versus a postmaterial person (PMP).  Spectral analysis images of the angel’s energies were markedly brighter than that of the PMP. 

As shared in article #76, I’ve experienced what I considered to be interactions with angels and Jesus.  For those of you with different faiths, this key is not about religion.  It’s about, as Aldous Huxley termed it, the perennial philosophy: spiritual understandings about life that have surfaced across multiple cultures over time.  There is considerable overlap between the great religions and spiritual wisdom sources.  As one of my yoga teachers Swami Satchidananda said: ‘Truth is one, paths are many.’

I am most knowledgeable about Christianity because of attending Lutheran church and Methodist theological school.  In addition, I have learned much from Buddhism, Hinduism, Sufism, Judaism, and indigenous people’s spirituality.  I’ve been blessed with three dear friends who taught me about Native American spirituality.  These First Nation people viewed every day as a walk in the woods with Great Spirit or Wakan Tanka.  This relationship was so strong that they had no words for the concept of fear.  Recently, I spoke with our Navajo guide Cody during a tour of Monument Valley and asked what their language reflected about fear.  After thinking a bit, he said ‘a chance to get stronger’.  Well put!

I believe that higher energy beings take on varying outward forms in different times and locales to reach all people.  As such, I am not attached to the possibility of specific persons in time, for example, Jesus in the Middle East 2000 years ago or Buddha in the East 2500 years ago.  Rather, I believe The Light manifests in various ways to help those who are ready to understand and act upon their humanity and higher selves.  

I created the Ask Your Soul, Angels, and The Light audio program that uses deep relaxation and guided imagery to help quiet your brain so you can discern your and their wisdom.  To learn more and enjoy clearer contact with your spiritual support team, see articles:

            #71 Ask Your Soul, Angels, and The Light

            #73 Angels and Higher Energy Assistance

            #76 My Experiences and Lessons

            #91 Pause and Remember

            #121 Soulmates 


6. Upgrade your understandings about G.O.D.
If you are happy with your beliefs about Creator, there’s no need to read this section.  However, many people have found religious teachings about God and afterlife to be lacking when loved ones pass on.  Well-meaning ministers offer worn platitudes that people find useless or offensive, for example: ‘It’s God’s will.  God works in mysterious ways.  They are in a better place now.  God wanted your loved one to be with Him.’ 

Religious support can be less helpful or downright cruel when someone passes on by suicide.  I’ve worked with family members who were told by their fundamentalist preachers ‘Your child is in Hell forever because he committed the unforgiveable sin!’  This view is blasphemous to The Creator and Sustainer of All Life that is the Source of all love, peace, and understanding.  To learn more about this important topic, especially since suicide is now the #2 cause of death for ages 15 – 35, see article #4.   

Historically, answering questions about G.O.D. – the Guiding, Organizing, and Designing Presence and Power behind all life – was entrusted to religious institutions.  There are 40,000 denominations in Christianity alone and over 10,000 religions in the world ; as such, it’s impossible to accurately characterize their performance.  In general, however, I give most religions the grade of C- for their teachings about the Source and nature of reality.  Teachings by more moderate denominations can be so vague as to be useless.  Centuries or millennia ago, it was, admittedly, difficult for them to understand cosmic matters.  But shouldn’t they have kept up with and upgraded their teachings based as current information surfaced? 

Vociferous conservative denominations get an F since they horribly scared, scarred, and misinformed so many people.  People who think for themselves often understandably rejected any notion of the type of God such denominations preach about.  An elderly woman told me about when she attended a fundamentalist church service with her parents.  The preacher talked long and loud about a fiery eternal hell and the importance of avoiding it.  Afterwards, the family stopped to greet the preacher by the front door.  ‘How did you like the service, little girl?’ he asked.  She answered ‘I didn’t like it.  God wouldn’t put anyone in hell forever.’  The preacher replied ‘Well maybe you shouldn’t come here anymore!’  The girl’s parents answered ‘Maybe we shouldn’t!’ 

Max Muller, a pioneer of comparative religion, stated ‘Nothing can be really true if it offends the sensibilities of a child.’  I agree. 

Views from conservative denominations are often tied to Roman and Greek images from 300 BC: a huge white-bearded and long-haired white man who sits on a throne in the sky and arbitrarily decides who lives or dies when and how. That hopelessly archaic and inaccurate image keeps people from wanting a personal relationship with The Light.  Joseph Campbell, professor of comparative religion and author of The Hero’s Journey, points out that the God behind all creation throughout the cosmos differs greatly from local ‘gods’ as viewed by warring tribes millennia ago.  

In what other field do we rely on beliefs from thousands of years ago?  Contemporary clinical evidence from near-death experiences and Life Between Lives data indicates that humans are not separate from Creator.  Rather, as many who have clinically died and return to earth report ‘We each are one with the One and part of Source Energy’.  This insight changes everything for the better and helps you realize ‘It’s all good, it’s all God.’ 

Consider the question I’ve heard from so many people: ‘Why did God take my loved one away from me?’  With all due respect and love, that question is nonsensical when you realize that you and your loved ones are integral, eternal, and beloved parts of G.O.D. right now.  Further, souls choose – ideally in alignment with their spiritual support team and God’s will – when and how to transition from earth.  That means God doesn’t cruelly and arbitrarily decide all details about how life unfolds.  Finally, your loved ones weren’t taken away and may be right beside you right now. 

Since the word ‘God’ automatically conjures up images of a big dictatorial guy in the sky, you may want to upgrade your terms the Creator and Sustainer of All Life.  I prefer The Light, All That Is, The One, Source Energy, Higher Power, The Divine, Creative Energy, and Cosmic Intelligence. 

To learn more about this topic, see articles . . .    

            #4 When a Loved One Passes on by Suicide 

            #13 What Is G.O.D. Like?  

            #78 Why Did God Take My Loved One?

            #100 Enlightenment


7. Know your true nature
‘Who am I?’ is one of the most important questions you can ask during this earthly experience.  Human understandings can fall short of capturing the totality of your being.  Many people suffer needlessly because of the illusion that they can die, and are separate from others and Creator.  You are so much more than you can imagine.  From a religious / spiritual perspective, you are a beloved child of G.O.D. You are a unique soul – a precious part of life that Creative Intelligence. 

From a clinical viewpoint, you are a timeless being of consciousness / energy / awareness.  That energy can manifest in various space-time ways, in this case, as a human being on planet earth.  You are a being of energy, information, and light who volunteered for this earthly experience.  Why would you want to come to a place like earth?  Because of the abundant opportunities for Service, Adventure, Growth, and Enjoyment . . . SAGE training.   

The Greater Reality Healing Program can help you discover that you are indeed an integral and eternal part of All That Is.  You are one with the Creator and Sustainer of all life.  Great religious teachers across time have tried to explain this, but power brokers often twisted their words.  There is no set course for what you have to believe, say, or do.  Knowing who you are means ‘realizing the Light within you’; the word ‘enlightenment’ refers to awakening to your light within. 

Jesus, who drew upon Jewish and other wisdom sources that contributed to the Christian perspective, spoke of being one with the Father.  The Buddha reportedly said that we each are like drops of water in the oceanic Divine.  Sufi wisdom posited that G.O.D. is as near to you as your hands and feet.  Hindu mystics said the individual soul is nothing else in essence but the universal soul.

These views about your true nature are also echoed by prominent scientists.  Quantum physicists such as David Bohm PhD said we each are ripples of excitation in an endless sea of energy.  Depending on the observer’s perspective and sensory abilities, that may appear as light, information, love, or a formed human.  Albert Einstein PhD, a contemporary of Dr. Bohm’s at Princeton University, stated “A human being is a part of the whole, called by us ‘Universe,’ a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separate from the rest – a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness.” 

I hope you better learn and demonstrate who you really are.  This is a huge key to handling life’s biggest changes with style and experiencing the greatest life that YOU have envisioned.  The following articles can help but the inner experience of who you really are is much more impactful than words.  Regularly praying, meditating, and using centering practices – as described in, respectively, articles #89, 51, and 77 – expands your knowing.

#15 The Nature of Humans

#23 Are You More Evolved and Sensitive?   

#118  Who and What Are You Really?

 

8. Learn about the afterlife
Understanding more about what really happens after bodily death can lighten and abbreviate your grieving. Many people in Western cultures have one of two views about it:

  1. that’s it . . . end of story, nothingness, complete cessation of consciousness and life
  1. your soul – sooner or later – ends up in heaven or hell for eternity

The collective afterlife evidence proves that view (a) is false.  View (b) is what many people believed in the Middle Ages, also known as The Dark Ages, or earlier.  As such, needless fears and misinformation that complicate the grief process have persisted. 

While writing my book Soul Proof, I called ministers of different mainstream Protestant denominations to learn their current views about heaven and hell.  One minister described hell – as described in that church’s 15th century doctrines – as a place of endless torment for the wicked and unrepentant.  I said ‘OK, that’s what your denomination believed in the 15th century, but what does it believe now?’  There was a pause before he replied, ‘We still adhere to statements in those doctrines.’ 

Really?!

People often ask me ‘What is the afterlife like?’  My views are based on clinical data from near-death experiences, shared death experiences, Life Between Lives sessions, and highly evidential mediums.  It appears that ‘what the afterlife is like’ varies greatly for different people.  Perhaps Jesus was trying to explain this in teachings attributed to him such as ‘In my Father’s house are many mansions.’  Your level consciousness at the time of passing on directly determines the quality of your afterlife.  How evolved, aware, and loving are you?  Have you forgiven yourself and others from what happened on earth?  What are your goals for the next phase of life?  What lessons do you need to learn better?  Those and other factors shape what your next stage of life will be. 

Grieving people sometimes worry about their loved ones who have passed on.  The most common concerns are about dear ones who:

     a. transitioned by suicide: as discussed in article #4, angels, other highly evolved energies, and The Light are more loving and understanding than we can fathom. Your loved ones who couldn’t handle being on earth any longer are lovingly tended to as they rest, heal, and receive counseling.

b. led a criminal or troubled earthly life: do good human parents punish their baby who has trouble walking? Of course not; they work with the little one and don’t give up.  Mother / Father God understands that everyone is doing the best they can given their current level of consciousness.  The afterlife is not punitive; it is instructive so people can learn and do better the next time.

     c. weren’t ‘saved’ and might suffer in ‘hell’ forever: this concern is totally unnecessary since, as the italicized words indicate, there is no fiery eternal hell and everyone is inherently saved by their true natures as children of The Most High. The only salvation needed is to ‘see the light’ and remember the greater reality in which we all are safe and beloved parts.  That awakening can feel like being reborn or being saved, but it’s more a matter of remembering your true nature. 

Humans might think that some people are irreparably sinful or evil.  However, as discussed in article #42, Higher Powers can distinguish between the doer and their deeds. 

The afterlife is a very deep and important subject that I can’t address fully in this article.  To learn more, see articles: 

            #14 Heaven and Hell: What Are They Really?

            #16 Evidence-Based Teachings About the Nature of Reality

            #42 What Is the Afterlife Like for Evil Doers?            

            #107 What Is the Afterlife Like?

9. Optimally care for yourself
Anxiety, depression, insomnia and other symptoms are very common after big changes. The underlying causes and balances can negatively impact you physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Deep grief can stress your nervous, immune, GI, muscular, and hormonal systems.  Interactions between these bodily systems can cause a variety of symptoms.  For example, the GI system produces as many neuropeptides – chemical messengers that allow the body to communicate within itself – as the brain.  That’s why distress of your gastrointestinal system can cause brain fog, depression, fatigue, and other ‘mental’ ailments. 

Natural health care providers understand the importance of working with the body instead of treating it like it’s weak and ignorant.  Traditional medical treatment – with protocols driven by the disease-care industry – often prescribe potentially harmful prescription drugs instead of addressing the underlying causes with safe, affordable, natural, and efficient natural care.  That’s why it’s so important to use optimal self-care and natural health care first whenever possible.  Medical treatment of drugs and surgery may be necessary for crises, but there may be significant risks. 

For example, drug side-effects may be worth it when people are very suicidal; natural healing methods don’t work over night since they assist the body’s restorative mechanisms. 

Similarly, drugs might be needed for people who are not good candidates for non-medical health care approaches.  In that case, potent medications to assist rest, decrease anxiety, and lessen depression may be needed for a while.  After the person’s condition has stabilized, then they may be a good candidate for proceeding with self-care and natural health care.   

When you are grieving, it can be difficult to motivate yourself to take those first steps toward recovery.  You may not feel like getting out of bed but, if you can push yourself just a bit, making small changes can yield large results.  Family members and friends can help so listen to their advice when you’re not thinking clearly. 

My book Radiant Wellness discusses seven keys to becoming happy, healthy, and aware.  Optimal health care, which is doubly important when you are off balance, falls into three general categories:

     a. Self-care: proper rest, exercise, whole foods and supplements, inner cleansing practices, maintaining awareness, and remembering your transcendent nature.

     b. Holistic health care: my top recommendations are acupuncture, chiropractic adjustments, nutritional healing, psychological and/or pastoral counseling, deep tissue massage, and integrative medicine. Avoid taking potentially harmful prescription drugs unless absolutely necessary. ‘Recreational’ drug use – marijuana and alcohol, for example – can numb you out and prevent fully grieving in healthy ways.  Some people have benefited from various ‘mind-expanding’ drugs, but those have potential negative side-effects.

     c. Drugs and surgery: As mentioned, these are usually best used for emergencies because of the significant risks. In addition, drugs and surgery treat symptoms but often don’t address core causes of imbalance.  My holistic health care centers provided most of the treatments listed under (b).  Even so, we sometimes recommended medical care for patients who needed it temporarily.  That was also necessary for those too ill – often after too many prescription drugs, surgeries, and self-abuse – to respond well to natural methods. 

If you are suffering with one or more ailments, know that your body is amazingly resilient when it has what is needed to heal itself.  Named diseases or syndromes that improved significantly or totally at my holistic health care offices included: multiple sclerosis, Crohn’s disease, Lyme’s disease, irritable bowel syndrome, cardiomyopathy, diabetes, neuropathy, lupus and other autoimmune disorders, ADD / ADHD, autism, asthma, Raynaud’s disease, GERD, chronic fatigue syndrome, ulcer, gall bladder disease, colitis, erectile dysfunction, benign prostatic hypertrophy (BPH), PTSD, memory loss, heart arrhythmia, psoriasis, and eczema. 

Many natural health care practitioners get similar results with patients who learn about the power of natural healing.  Nutrition-based healing is very helpful for those who are grieving, especially women who lack key nutrients after pregnancies.  Depression, anxiety, panic attacks, insomnia, OCD symptoms, suicidal thoughts, and many other symptoms can be caused by:

  • deficiencies of key nutrients due to poor dietary intake and fake supplements, and
  • excess chemicals, heavy metals, microorganisms, and electromagnetic radiation

Too little of ‘the good things’ and too much of ‘the bad things’ cause many more symptoms that most people realize.  The great news is that the body usually responds very well to this and other natural healing methods.  I HIGHLY recommend finding a Nutrition Response Testing or Applied Kinesiology practitioner to design and oversee a personalized healing program for you.  Safe, Affordable, Natural, and Effective (SANE) healing approaches, as described in the articles below, can literally work wonders.  I hope you love yourself enough and spend the time, energy, and money to fine-tune your body and brain.

            #12 Optimal Self Care

            #32 Nutrition-Based Healing

            #33 Six Stressors

            #37 Detoxing Chemicals and Heavy Metals

            #43 Harmful EMF

            #64 Drugs, Alcohol, and Greater Reality Living

            #87 Natural Health Care

            #88 Whole Food Way of Eating and Supplements

            #90 What Do I Eat?

10. Use centering practices
Regularly quiet your brain via prayer, meditation, time in nature, exercise, music, playing with pets and children, gardening, breathwork, drumming, serving others, yoga, and spiritual fellowship. Remember: your brain thinks it knows everything, but it actually perceives much less than 1% of reality. You are looking at life through a pinhole if you base your worldview solely on what your five senses report.  It’s vital to regularly quiet your brain’s analysis to access your inner knowing about the greater reality. 

To achieve that, spend some time most days to do what keeps you in the now moment.  That helps you feel the peace that passes all understanding, and be still and know you are part of G.O.D.  Centering practices can help you realize / remember that change is unavoidable but suffering is optional.  When you know more about the greater reality, you can accept that bodily death and other changes are natural parts of life.  Death is just a comma before the next phase of life’s never ending saga.

One way to keep your brain more calm is to minimize your exposure to negative, superficial, and sensationalistic news – especially just before going to sleep.  Unless there’s an emergency going on in your life, you don’t need to check your emails and texts so often.  Do you really need to stay updated about the latest Hollywood stars’ divorces, political insults, or salaries of sports superstars?  It’s OK to keep generally informed about what’s going on in the world, but don’t let yourself get hooked on constant news that can stress your brain and body. 

Similarly, computer games, porn, and videos / TV viewing can become an addiction.  People are mentally stimulated by these in much the same way that sugar, white flour, and chemical additives excites the brain.  As with addictive drugs, a tolerance develops and people need more and more stimulation to ‘get their fix’. 

Spending excess time on lower energy pursuits is a self-defeating way to stay in denial and not work on yourself.  With your extra time and mental bandwidth, you can address and heal grief in optimal ways.  As an old saying puts it: ‘You can’t stop the birds of suffering from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from making a nest in your hair.’  My Heal and Transform Your Suffering audio helps you do this. 

In Helping Parents Heal (HPH), we say ‘The bodily death of your child can make you better or bitter.’ Ultimately, it’s a moment to moment choice as to which path you choose.  In the 1970’s, the song title ‘Perceptual Change’ by the band Yes helped me realize that change is inevitable.  Suffering was certain if I wanted everything to stay the same.  Similarly, I ensured more pain and misery if things had to unfold the way I wanted.  Shifting from ‘I must have this’ to ‘I prefer this’ helped immensely.  To learn more about this topic, see articles:

            #68 The Big Picture of Life

            #77 Centering Practices

            #86 Breathing Techniques

11. Expand your awareness of the vastness of life
One way to journey FROM deeply grieving TO brightly shining is to realize how very vast and beautiful life is.  A broader perspective can help you feel more grateful for being an important part in the grand scheme of things.  To help you remember this, watch the movie ‘Joe Versus the Volcano’ with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. Nearly dead on a life raft at sea, his character sees a huge perfect moon rising and raises him arms to it as though in praise and surrender.  Just before he passes out, he says: ‘Dear God, thank you for my life.  I forgot how big . . .’

One way to expand your awareness about how wonderfully life is set up is to use advanced audio technology with binaural beats to promote brainwave entrainment and neuroplasticity.  I’ve benefited from ‘hemi-sync’ products from: (a) Sacred Acoustics by Karen Newell and Eben Alexander MD (SacredAcoustics.com), (b) The Shaman’s Heart by Byron Metcalfe (ByronMetcalfe.com), and (c) specific audios from The Monroe Institute (MonroeInstitute.org)

Regular use of my audio programs help you remember that life and love are vast and eternal.  The Holistic Breathing Technique does that via deep, noisy, and prolonged diaphragmatic breathing with music and coaching in the background.  I mention this technique because it is so very powerful and transformative.  I’ve used it hundreds of times over the last 27 years. 

My other audio programs use deep relaxation and guided imagery to help you recall how magnificently life is set up and enjoy other benefits.  Three of those include:

  1. The Life Review is a powerful way to remember what typically occurs after bodily death. Considered one of the most transformative aspects of near-death experiences, the life review reveals key times when you did well or those when you didn’t.  Afterwards, you can consider how to apologize, make amends, and do better the next time. 
  1. Past Life Regression helps lessen primarily identifying with your earthly body. This technique helps you explore the possibility that YOU – your real self / consciousness – have visited other space-times that seem just as real as this one. 
  1. Pre-Birth Planning helps remember that YOU, ideally in conjunction with The Light and your spiritual support team, designed the possibility of key events in your life. Insights into what was chosen and why can help you improve your life now and help others.  Clinical evidence from near-death experiences and Life Between Lives data indicates that pre-birth planning is a common part of pre-earth preparation. 

People who periodically use these techniques report heightened identification with their eternal essence and less with their temporary human body.  They describe feeling more free and clear after remembering their infinite self and its important role in the cosmos.  To learn more about these audios and how they can help expand your awareness of life, see articles:

      #25 Pre-Birth Planning: Did My Soul REALLY Choose All This?

      #45 The Life Review: How Would Yours Feel Today?

      #70 Holistic Breathing Technique

      #102 Past Life Regression

12. Share your greatest gifts
Serving others helps you and them.  One key to moving through deep grief more quickly and easily is to look around and observe ‘How can I help?’  Doing this in your loved one’s names, whether silently or outwardly, honors them and creates more meaning to their passing.  This sacred process of alchemy – like creating golden threads from straw – is a joy to behold.  While working with Helping Parents Heal since 2014, I’ve seen many parents get better after serving others in small or large ways.  Some start foundations while others volunteer at church or school fundraisers.  Here is one of the most powerful examples I know of . . .

Several years ago, I received an email from an older woman who wrote:  ‘My husband, son, and family dog all passed on in the last year.  They were all I had and I just can’t take the pain and loneliness.  I’ve decided to move on by suicide and just wanted to tell someone good-bye before I did.  I’ve followed your work for years and know you will understand.’ 

I replied, ‘I am sorry for all your pain after three deaths in such a short period of time.  No wonder you are suffering so greatly.  No one could or should judge you for deciding that you’ve had enough. Your spiritual support team and The Light will not judge, shame, or             punish you.  Quite likely, you will see your beloved husband, son, and dog in the welcoming line when you pass over.’ 

I continued ‘However, some evidence indicates that you / your soul may need to rest and recharge for a while before re-entering the flow of life and being with them on a regular basis.  This wouldn’t be punishment from an angry and punishing God but, rather, rehab             after predictably energy-draining emotions – sadness, despair, guilt, fear, etc. – before, during, and after suicide.  As such, you actually might be around your loved ones sooner if you can find a way to stay here.  Others have found that serving others in need helped them heal and complete their earthly curriculum.’

I get emails like this fairly often and sometimes never learn what actions they chose.  I pray for them, but don’t hold myself responsible if they choose suicide.  A few months later, I received this message from her: ‘I wanted to let you know that I took your advice and it worked!  Three times a week, I work       at our local soup kitchen.  I think of my loved ones and silently say their names with every   plate of food I hand out. I’m going to make them proud of me and stay on earth until my work here is done.  Sometimes, I think I can feel them smiling down on me and cheering me on.  Thank you for showing me another way and helping me know I will see them again in a blink of an eye.’ 

This woman had three dear ones change worlds in a short period of time.  Understandably, she felt like she couldn’t go on, but serving others helped her take one day at a time.  Choosing a higher energy path of focusing on meaning and loving service also helped her feel her dear ones more keenly.   

Serving others is also a great way to share your greatest gifts.  Good evidence from multiple sources indicates that we each come to earth with special talents and reasons for being here at this time.  When we fulfill those purposes, we are more in alignment with our real selves, spiritual support team, and The Light.  People who aren’t following their missions often feel what they variously describe as existential malaise, boredom, and creative discontent. 

That’s understandable since they aren’t fulfilling their soul’s plan.  Joseph Campbell put it this way: ‘If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living.’  I posted that saying on the wall above my desk for many years and recommend you do the same. 

One of the most common questions I receive from people around the world is ‘How can I know what my soul’s missions are and fulfill them?’  You might not be surprised to learn that I created an audio program Identify and Fulfill Your Purposes AND Create Your Greatest Life for this purpose. 

To learn more about finding and sharing your core talents, see article . . .

            #21 Identify and Fulfill Your Highest Purposes

            #80 Why Are You on Earth Now? S.A.G.E. Training

            #117 You Might Be More Evolved If . . .

 

 13. Use the A.R.T. technique
Your lower energy emotions (sadness, guilt, anger, etc.) will decrease as you regularly focus on higher ones (peace, joy, love, gratitude, enthusiasm) AND take higher energy actions.  My A.R.T. Technique quiets your brain’s limiting analysis and helps you to . . .

  • Appreciate all the blessings and lessons that came from your loved one who crossed over.  Think of the many experiences you had together!  This rich array of events, feelings, and memories are yours forever.
  • Realize that you will see them again when you pass on, and that your relationship can continue now in a different way.  Also realize that your loved ones are now enjoying realms characterized by peace, joy, gratitude, and enthusiasm.
  • Transform every aspect of your life for the better as a result of having known beloved people and pets.  You can have spiritually transformative experiences and know more deeply that life and love are forever.  Further, you can honor their lives by shining more brightly and serving others. 

These three steps naturally increase your clarity and power to sense more of life than ever before.  As Antoine de Saint-Exupéry stated: “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”  Stay alert for signs and visits increasing after using the A.R.T. technique and upgrading what you focus on.

At age 71, I’ve encountered a number of big changes that initially felt like losses.  Here are three examples that the A.R.T. technique helped with . . .

  • At age 21, my first love girlfriend of four years broke up with me.At the time, I didn’t think I could go on living and grieved deeply.  Many years later, that ‘loss’ – really a blessing in disguise – led to meeting the woman of my dreams.  My current relationship wouldn’t have been possible had my high school sweetheart and I stayed together.  I can now clearly see that things wouldn’t have worked out with her and/or I wouldn’t have been able to share my greatest gifts. I have profound hearing loss due to a viral infection.It definitely makes things more difficult but, as you now know, there are always silver linings.  I sit up front so I can lip read; this helps me really focus in.  I can turn my hearing aids off when it gets too noisy around me.  And my deafness motivated me help Chrisie hear. 
  • Chrisie is an enthusiastic young lady who came to me for a nutrition-based healing evaluation.  She said, ‘Please speak loudly and slowly right in front of me.  I forgot my hearing aids and have to lip read.”  I told Andy, an RN and acupuncturist at our office who had treated Chrisie before, about this and she said: ‘Chrisie always tells me that.  I don’t think she can afford them.’  In that moment, I thought ‘Hell no!  Not on my watch!  I can help this young lady hear again.’  I called my wonderful audiologist Julie and asked if she would test Chrisie at a reduced fee using my back-up hearing aids that I donated.Chrisie called me after her appointment; she and her mom had been in their car crying with joy for 45 minutes.  She described how wonderful it was to hear and all the little things she was noticing.  Then it was my turn to have tears.  In that moment, I felt what could best be described as ‘pure joy’.  I wouldn’t have been as aware of her need and intervened if I had normal hearing.
  • In early 2000, half of my life savings were erased by the tech crash.On the evening before the bubble burst, my inner wisdom told me to get out.  But I listened to ‘the experts’ who said there would only be a brief correction followed by more great returns.  I had planned to retire from private practice in 2000 so I could teach about spiritual awareness, holistic health, and optimal living full time.  That huge financial change necessitated continuing to see patients.That summer, five-year old Hayley was brought to my office by her parents.  She was born with a severe birth anomaly with her heart and large blood vessels on the right side of her body.  Despite three surgeries by pediatric cardiac specialists, Hayley had very little energy and her skin color was gray to denim blue.  She could only get out of bed one hour a day and wouldn’t be able to attend kindergarten in the autumn.  Hayley tried to smile bravely, but it was clear she was struggling.  After her exam, she gave me a weak hug.I recommended a regimen of whole foods and nutritional supplements to provide her heart with essential building blocks to heal and regain better function.  Within a few months, her skin was a rosy pink and her energy skyrocketed.  She was able to attend school and especially enjoying running around the playground during recess.  Her cardiologists couldn’t understand how she recovered so quickly and thoroughly.  Her big hugs and smiles were sufficient payment.Hayley continued to do well in every way.  After the first year, I checked her twice a year for wellness visits.  At age 20, she was a beautiful young lady who worked full time and continued to give me big hugs.  If not for the tech crash and changes in my finances, I wouldn’t have seen her as a patient.  And, over time, earnings from practicing and investments made up for that downturn and more. 

I regularly use my own techniques and consider the A.R.T. technique to be one reason I was able to appreciate the past, realize there are greater blessings IF I look for them, and transform for the better.  All the information and resources I’m sharing have enabled me to create the greatest life of my dreams and help others do the same.  Sensing and following my inner wisdom – as mentioned in (c) above – has been one of my most important lessons during this earthly experience. 

For more information about these topics, see articles:

             #20 Discerning Your Inner Wisdom    

            #41 The A.R.T. Technique.


14. Find and share the silver linings
Many years ago, I read a profound statement by W. Clement Stone: “Every adversity has the seed for an equivalent or greater benefit.” I’ve personally found that to be true. In addition, I know many people who have demonstrated the truth of this statement.  Other sayings that capture this perspective are:

     a. Every cloud has a silver lining. 

     b. When one door closes, another opens but it can seem like hell in the hallway for a while.

     c. Two men looked through prison bars: one saw mud, the other stars.

I’ve found these perspectives to be most powerful when I look for silver linings, give thanks when I find them, and use them to help myself and others. 

Big changes in life can shake and wake you up from spiritual amnesia.  It’s easy to get side-tracked from your reasons for being on earth at this time by all the enticements out there.  Thrown in a large portion of fear, misinformation, and attempts to control you and the stage is set for what you see around you.  Dr. Newton’s research showed that souls choose to return to earth after slumbering through earthly incarnations instead of awakening and fulfilling their purposes. 

Because of these tendencies, people / souls may design wake-up calls that cause them to – perhaps for the first time – ask life’s most important questions.  As such, what seems ‘bad’ can actually be ‘good’ if it helps you remember who you are, why you’re here, and Who walks beside you always.  Thus the wisdom of the saying ‘suffering is grace’ that might initially sound bizarre to you. 

Different cultures believe that loved ones in the next phase of life can convey special gifts.  You can best sense these silver linings when focused on higher energy emotions and actions.  The documentary ‘Music by John Williams’ told about the life of the legendary pianist, composer, and conductor whose music has been featured in Fiddler on the Roof, Jaws, Star Wars, ET, Indiana Jones, and many other classic movies.  John perceived a spiritual gift after his dear wife Ruick passed on suddenly at age 44: ‘I felt she was helping me . . . I think that I grew up artistically or gained some kind of energy, and penetrated what I was doing a little more deeply.  The busiest and most successful period in my life in film started immediately thereafter.”

A recent series of experiences convinced me that there are meta-blessings available amidst earth’s most daunting seeming tragedies.  The first occurred while I presented at a Helping Parents Heal conference with 1100 attendees in August 2024.  Some evidence suggests that all those children may be working together in the next realm to usher in widespread conscious living on earth.  This topic is too lengthy and too important to describe in this article. 

I strongly encourage you to read article #119 so you can help reach the tipping point toward peace and wellness for all people and our planet.  Also watch the three 30-minute videos with the same title at the bottom of the SoulProof.com and SoulPhone.org home pages.  While learning about this historic opportunity that needs your involvement, remember that apparent losses have led you to this moment. 

To learn more about this key, see articles . . .

            #17 Spiritually Transformative Experiences

            #68 The Big Picture of Life

             #119 Eleven Keys to Helping Yourself, Others, and Our World


15. Learn about the SoulPhone Project
Researchat the University of Arizona by Gary E. Schwartz PhD and his team has definitively demonstrated that life continues after bodily death. This scientific proof is, needless to say, extraordinarily comforting, inspiring, and empowering.  I’ve been the spokesperson for this project, assisted in the research, and directed the SoulPhone Foundation for eight years.  Two hugely paradigm-shifting events are planned for 2025:

     *  Official announcements of scientific proof that life continues after bodily death.

     *  Demonstrated communication with postmaterial luminaries and evidence that they want to help us on earth.  

Dr. Schwartz’s accumulated scientific data from over 25 years, and especially the last several years, allow me to responsibly make these admittedly big claims.  One of his books, with a title based on a quote by Carl Sagan PhD is ‘Extraordinary Claims Require Extraordinary Evidence’.  We will have all the evidence in place before announcing and demonstrating this extraordinarily wonderful news.  

For many people, these two events will be like the ‘penny floating in the air’ moment for Demi Moore’s character in the movie Ghost.  (Be sure to watch this great movie if you haven’t or it’s been a while.)  Widespread awareness of (a) and (b) above, in conjunction with the Greater Reality Healing Program, can sufficiently dissolve fear and engender hope to improve your life and our world.  

My mom benefited from the project just two weeks before she passed on at age 92.  It was clear that bodily death was on the horizon so I reminded her to stay alert for invitations to interact via SoulPhone technology.  (We had talked about this for 7 years so she was very familiar with the project.)  In a feeble voice, she said, ‘I’ll do my best to do my part when I’m contacted.’  What a wonderful way to say ‘see you later’ since she KNEW that life after death was real and we would be in touch soon. 

Visit the SoulPhone.org website for free videos, newsletters, and information such as Anticipated SoulPhone Devices.  To learn more, see articles:

             #35 The SoulPhone Project

            #44 SoulPhone Project Updates


16. Focus on evidence-based information versus fear-based misinformation
This key has been partially addressed, but repetition is the essence of learning. As discussed, some grieving for a while is natural when a dear one passes on. However, some people get stuck in severe grief for many years or even the remainder of their earthly life.  (Then they remember the big picture of life and how needless their fears and suffering were.)

One way to jumpstart this process NOW is to replace fear-based misinformation with evidence-based information.  (Evidence for each point below is available in the listed articles.) 

Fear #1: Bodily death is the end of life.

Reality: your life-force / essence / energy – and that of your loved ones – existed before human birth and continues after death of the human form.

Evidence: articles  #1, #60, and #115 that discuss scientific, clinical, and experiential evidence for life after death; The Afterlife Evidence, Greater Reality Living, and Soul Proof books

Fear #2: You’ll never again see loved ones who have passed on.

Reality: Wonderful and very real contacts with postmaterial loved ones can continue while you are on earth AND after you pass on.

Evidence: articles #1 Scientific Evidence for Postmaterial Communication, #6 Evidential Mediums, #9 Visiting with ‘Departed’ Loved Ones Now, #28 Afterlife Contacts; The Afterlife Experiments by Gary E. Schwartz PhD
 
Fear #3: Your loved ones might end up in a fiery eternal hell because ___.  (Fill in the blank with your needless concerns, for example, they passed on by suicide, weren’t baptized, were in the wrong religion, weren’t ‘saved’, sinned too much, didn’t attend church, etc.)

Reality:  G.O.D. / Higher Intelligence is the source and repository of all love, peace, and understanding.  You – and your loved ones – are integral, infinite, eternal and beloved parts of that now and always.  As such, the above fears are clearly without basis; how could you ever truly be separate from Source and true nature?  Consider Biblical parables about Jesus saving the one lost sheep and the prodigal son being welcomed home.  Remember that human ways (lack of compassion, judgement, and punishment) aren’t Divine ways. 

Evidence: #13 Nature of Creator, #15 The Nature of Humans, #16 Evidence-Based Spiritual Teachings, #71 Ask Your Soul, Angels, and The Light, #73 Angels, #107 The Afterlife, #42 What Is the Afterlife Like for Evil-Doers? and #83 Am I a Christian?

Fear #4: You won’t be able to survive being away from your loved ones.  Further, you have no control over lapsing into severe depression, anxiety, illness, and desiring to die.

Reality: You have much more wisdom, power, and control than you know.  Your church and some people might have told you that you are, by birth, a weak, worthless, and lowly sinner.  If you’ve read this article so far, you understand those were attempts to control you and take your money. 

Yes, it can feel very tough after big changes such as a loved one passing on.  However, the Greater Reality Healing Program and other resources can help immensely.  Many loving people and wise teachers can help you get through what seems like your dark night of the soul.  In addition, you are guided and assisted by angels, guides, master teachers, and The Light.  Finally, you and your loved one may actually be together right now in another space-time slice of life.

Evidence: articles #5 When You Are Considering Suicide, #12 Optimal Self-Care, #51 Meditation, #66 Relationships for More Evolved Persons, #87 Natural Health Care, #89 Prayers, #100 Enlightenment, and #108 Higher Energies, Emotions, and Ways of Being

Fear #5: God took my loved one away . . .

Reality: Your loved ones, hopefully in alignment with their spiritual support team and The Light, chose their timing and means of changing worlds.  That was not a unilateral decision by a huge dictator in the sky, nor does any such deity exist.  Major events are often pre-planned by you and your soulmates who serve as cast members in this earthly play. 

Evidence: articles #13 the Nature of G.O.D., #25 Pre-Birth Planning, #68 Big Picture of Life, #78 Why Did God Take My Loved One? and #82 Journeying FROM Deeply Grieving TO Brightly Shining

Fear #6: It’s my fault that my loved one passed on; if only I would have _____.  (fill in the blank with how you think you could or should have done something to prevent it)

Reality and Evidence: See #5 above. 

Fear #7: My life will never be happy and peaceful again.  My relationships will suffer and may end.  I need alcohol and drugs to block the pain and feel good.

Reality: Whether or not that happens depends upon your predominant thoughts, words, and actions that create the quality of your life.  You can always decide – no matter what is happening to or around you – to focus on higher-energy emotions and ways of being: love, peace, joy, gratitude, compassion, enthusiasm, and enlightenment.  Many people have done this and you can too.

Evidence: articles #2 and/or 3 When a Loved One Changes Worlds, #19 ‘The Great News’, #62 I’ll Still Be Sad But Not As Much, and #64 Drugs, Alcohol, and Greater Reality Living


17. Enjoy a different relationship with your postmaterial loved ones NOW
As you know, your loved ones who have graduated from earth-school are not really dead.  (Only their human bodies are and that, in the grand scheme of things, is as inconsequential as an old childhood sweater.)  What’s more, they aren’t a zillion quadrillion miles away up in the sky somewhere.  (Again, totally wrong teachings from that era justifiably termed the Dark Ages) 

The life-force of your PMPs is at a different frequency now.  While on earth, their energy had to operate at lower and slower vibrations.  (That allowed them to benefit from  the illusion that they were solid, separate and would die.  Pretending to be ‘just a human’ also enabled adventures, enjoyment, service to others, and other benefits.)  Freed from their limited and limiting bodies, the consciousness of your loved ones is now more free, expansive, and operating at higher and faster levels.  

Many people can’t detect those finer frequencies yet so they falsely conclude that their loved ones are gone.  However, more people can now sense their dear ones a bit, in part, because of less fear of death.  In addition, it’s no longer so critical for humans to perceive only what is necessary for survival.  In cave-people times, every day was a struggle to not die from disease, starvation, and attack by other humans and beasts.  Those whose sense organs could best detect threats survived and, thus, passed on those genes.  While discussing this, Eben Alexander MD and I agreed that about 90% of the brain’s job is to filter out nonessential stimuli.

In 2025, most people don’t have to contend with those daily threats.  Some spend time, energy, and money to expand their senses beyond past limitations. 

Many people have reported spontaneous afterlife contacts (ALCs) in which they sense, while awake or dreaming, their postmaterial dear ones.  Raymond Moody MD, PhD says these have been experienced by about 25% of the general population, 66% of widows and widowers, and 75% of parents with children who passed on.  However, I’ve asked thousands of parents how many have received one or more meaningful ALCs; invariably, nearly every hand goes up.  

ALCs can involve the usual senses or more ethereal and subtle ones.  You may notice electronic devices malfunctioning, for example, lights flickering on and off. Shared and evidential ALCs indicate that these are not always imaginary or wishful thinking.  See article #28 to learn more about signs and visits from loved ones who have graduated from earth-school.  These contacts are termed ‘spontaneous’ because there doesn’t seem to be any control about how and when they occur.  (As discussed in article #9, that’s not actually true.  There are a number of tried and true ways to increase the frequency and quality of PMP contacts.)

Until SoulPhone technology provides better ways, four facilitated methods might help you better detect the presence of your dear ones who have transitioned from earth. 

Electronic Voice Phenomena (EVP) and Instrumental Transcommunication (ITC) devices have provided some audio and visual contact with PMPs.  However, these approaches sometimes / often produce unintelligible audios and vague images.  Further, the results can be dependent on the experimenter and conditions.  To learn more, see article #106.

Perceiving your postmaterial loved ones can be easier than you think.  When I facilitate Afterlife Contact sessions, nearly 75% of participants report having one or more meaningful experiences the first time they try it.  Visiting with your PMPs is similar to setting up visits with earthly family and friends.  For example, it helps to invite them on a specific date and time.  Whether you believe in life after death or not, talk to them as though they really are present. 

Just one sign or contact from loved ones can greatly decrease your sadness and increase your certainty that they are alive and well.  After that, it’s as though your loved ones are living across the globe; you won’t see them for a while, but you KNOW you will again someday.  With the above approaches for now, and SoulPhone technology in the future, you will be able to communicate with them more fully and clearly.  

To improve contact with postmaterial loved ones, people and pets, see articles . . .

            #6 Evidential Mediums

            #9 Visit with Your ‘Departed’ Loved Ones NOW

            #28 Afterlife Contacts

            #106 Comparison of the SoulPhone Project and Instrumental Transcommunication.        


Summary

You now possess a holistic program for journeying FROM deeply grieving TO brightly shining.  I hope you use and share it with others.  Please remember to reach out to others, especially when you feel like you can’t go on.  Pray, ask for help, accept assistance, and be around kindred spirits.  Sense your postmaterial dear ones rooting you on and encouraging you to heal, transform, enjoy a wonderful life, and help others.

Learn the information and take action steps from this program for just 90 days and notice the difference.  You deserve to feel happy, healthy, and whole again; the cosmos is just waiting for you to share your greatest gifts. 

Again, evidence-based information and holistic resources to assist your journey FROM deeply grieving TO brightly shining include:

            * SoulProof.com/Articles to read recommended free articles. 

            * SoulProof.com/Radio to hear free interviews with experts on afterlife and optimal living

            * SoulProof.com and SoulPhone.org to sign up for free monthly newsletters 

            * My audio programs and books at SoulProof.com/Shop are inexpensive.  However, if you can’t afford them, email     mark@soulproof.com for free digital copies. 

            * Brian Smith’s Grief2Growth.com site is another excellent resource for those seeking a higher path to handling grief. 

            * Books by Gary E. Schwartz PhD that are available through LACH.arizona.edu and Amazon.  I’ve read them all and found them to be very informative, interesting, and inspiring. 

Remember . . . Greater Reality Healing meetings and groups are planned to begin in early 2025.  Sign up for free newsletters at SoulProof.com and SoulPhone.org to learn details.  Initially, these free meetings and break-out groups will be online via Zoom.  Over time, people can share this program with others at local in-person groups.  Existing grief groups are also welcome to use all or part of this evidence-based and holistic approach to handling big changes while on earth.

                                                                            *       *       *       *     *       *      *

Thank you for sharing this article with others who can use it.

Let it shine,
Mark

Mark Pitstick, MA, DC
Director of the SoulPhone Foundation
Founder of Greater Reality Living Groups
Research assistant for the SoulPhone Project
SoulPhone.org    SoulProof.com    GreaterRealityLiving.com

University-based scientific research has now definitively demonstrated that life continues after bodily death.   The SoulPhone Project will very likely allow widespread communication with post-material (“deceased”) loved ones and luminaries who want to help us heal our world.  How might this great news change the way you live and treat yourself and others?

Mark Pitstick, MA, DC is an author, master’s level clinical psychologist, holistic chiropractic physician, frequent media guest, and webinar / workshop facilitator.  He has also helped others in pastoral counseling and suicide prevention / education settings.  Mark directs The Soul Phone Foundation, founded Greater Reality Living Groups, and assists research on the SoulPhone Project.

Dr. Pitstick’s goal is to help you know and show– no matter what is happening to or around you – that this earthly experience is a totally safe, meaningful, and magnificent adventure amidst eternity.  Visit SoulProof.com for free articles, newsletters, and radio interviews with top consciousness experts.  Other resources include his very reasonably priced books, audio-products, and documentary.

Note: Because of his many outreaches, Dr. Pitstick can no longer answer complex and/or multiple questions.  However, he has created many resources to answer your biggest questions and provide holistic solutions for your toughest challenges . . .

FREE Articles, Radio Shows, and E-Newsletters

– Articles for Transformation and Healing (top tab Articles at SoulProof.com) address the most common questions, concerns, and challenges about life, death, and afterlife.

– Radio Shows (top tab Radio Shows at SoulProof.com) share his answers and those of top experts to life’s biggest questions: “Who am I? Why am I here?  What happens after I die?  Is there a God?  Why is there so much suffering?  Why do children die?” and others.

– E-Newsletters (sign up on any page at SoulProof.com)


Audio-Products, Books, and Documentary

– Transformational Audio Products  (see Shop at SoulProof.com) provide quality sessions at home for a fraction of the cost of an office visit.  These CDs and digital audios use deep relaxation, visualization, breathwork, and/or other techniques to: access your inner wisdom, visit with “departed” loved ones, release old wounds and lower energy emotions, evaluate your pre-birth planning, have past life regressions, and other goals.

– Books and Documentary (Shop at SoulProof.com) provide information and strategies to help you more deeply realize and demonstrate that:

  • you are a forever being of energy / consciousness
  • the many wonderful benefits of realizing this
  • how to reflect this great news in every aspect of your life — even when confronted with big challenges and changes

Webinars and Workshops: to learn about these, subscribe to newsletters at SoulProof.com and SoulPhone.org (Classes & Interviews at SoulProof.com)

Greater Reality Living Groups: these local and online groups share information from Dr. Pitstick, Dr. Gary Schwartz, and other experts on consciousness and holistic wellness topics.  (Visit Greater Reality Living at SoulProof.com)

Coaching / Counseling Session: meet with Dr. Pitstick by Zoom to gain answers to your toughest questions and holistic solutions to your biggest challenges.  (Shop at SoulProof.com)

Disclaimer: This information is not designed to replace medical or psychological care.  Dr. Pitstick’s remarks are based on his personal and professional training and experience during forty-eight years of helping many thousands of people.  Collective clinical, scientific, and experiential evidence supports some, but not all, of what he shares.  Mark’s views may change over time, and he does not claim to have all the answers or the only answers.  Dr. Pitstick encourages you to consider this information and decide for yourself what makes the most sense.  Note: the articles and other resources at his SoulProof.com site are NOT purely based on scientific research as is the SoulPhone Project.