by Mark Pitstick MA, DC
If you’ve not already, please read:
- ‘The Great News‘(article #19 at SoulProof.com/Articles)
- ‘Eight Developments for Widespread Conscious Living Now’ (#125)
- Greater Reality LIVING Program: Integrating ‘The 8 Developments’ Into Your Daily Life (#72)
- Greater Reality HEALING Program: Journeying FROM Deeply Grieving TO Brightly Shining (#82)
The evidence-based information and holistic resources outlined in these articles will help you to:
- realize your true nature as an eternal being of consciousness / life-force / energy
- receive guidance and assistance from highly evolved energies and Source / The Light
- heal old wounds, release lower energies, and update erroneous teachings
- create the greatest life YOU have envisioned (YOU = your higher self / soul)
- help others by sharing your greatest gifts
- make our world a better place
As enough people do this, widespread personal and planetary change will naturally unfold.
When a Loved Ones Earthly Body Dies
One of the toughest parts about life—even though it lasts forever—is when a loved one passes on. We miss their bodily presence, hug, and voice—in short, the physical attributes we love about our dear family, friends, and pets.
It’s difficult when a loved one transitions into the next phase of life and becomes a postmaterial person. But life has taken a new turn and is offering you an opportunity to see past the illusion of death. You now have a chance to more deeply realize that your loved one was and is much more than skin, muscle, organs, and bones . . . and so are you.
The earthly body is an earth-suit, a temporary vehicle for one’s indestructible essence.
Your loved one’s bodily death provides you with a new moment to deepen your relationship with the person you called parent, spouse, sibling, child, friend, etc. The information in this article can help you awaken to a greater reality. You can learn without a doubt that your loved one is much more than what you previously perceived. And that, my friend, is easily worth all the pain, sadness, and struggle.
Here’s an example of how remembering the big picture of life can lessen grieving and increase hope. A group of my longtime and fairly enlightened friends recently met by Zoom to visit and catch up. “Fred” was sad about his mom who had just passed on the day before. We asked how he was doing after his mom’s passing. He looked down and glumly said, ‘OK, but I really don’t feel like talking about it now.’ We understood so people took turns telling what was new in their life.
When it was Fred’s turn to share, he told about his home redecorating projects. He had inherited his mom’s house the year before after she had to enter an assisted care facility. Fred described the home’s décor as overdone 1950’s Mediterranean and wanted to change it to a more contemporary and simple style.
A question ‘popped up’ for me to ask: “Didn’t your mom grow up in Italy?” He told us that his dad, who was Italian and lived in NYC, saw a photo of a young lady who lived in Italy. He traveled there – no small feat in the 1950’s – and they met, fell in love, and soon got married. They booked travel to the U.S. on a ship, but she couldn’t go due to a positive TB test.
The boat they would have been on, the Andria Dora, wrecked and many people died. Soon afterwards, she was tested again for TB and the results came back negative. While young, they loved to dress up and go to dances. They grew old together and had a great life including raising two sons.
We were all deeply touched at this great story. Fred was now smiling and laughing. One friend commented that they were probably dancing again right now. Someone else said they were likely doing more than that. The laughter and lightness among these old friends – who all deeply knew that life continues after death – was palpable. Fred said, ‘I thought I didn’t want to talk about her, but I feel much better now. Thanks for asking that question, Mark.’
This is a great example of how much it helps to really know that you will see your ‘departed’ loved ones again. It’s also a reminder to listen to your inner voice – that wise voice within – and act upon it when it seems prudent. A third teaching point from the story is this: consider all the factors that had to align for Fred’s parents to meet and survive until he was born. Might the timing of your dear one’s passing likewise involve timing and meaning beyond our ability to understand?
Here’s another true story. Before you read it, take a few slow deep breaths, quiet your mind, and open your heart. Before you read the next paragraph, take a few slow, deep breaths, quiet your mind, and open your heart.
Sandra is a mother whose two children passed on. She was preparing to go to sleep one night when she heard her ‘deceased’ daughter’s voice from the foot of the bed: “Mom, can you see me?” Sandra replied, “I can hear you, but I can’t see you.” Her daughter replied: “Then get bigger eyes.”
That is one of your tasks when a loved one graduates from earth school. You need to get bigger eyes. You and everyone around you will be greatly blessed as you remember there is much more to life than is detected by your five senses.
Ten keys to remember when the earthly form of a loved one dies . . .
1. Remember you will see her again when you pass on, and likely can now.
Much clinical data from near-death experiences, life between lives sessions, and evidential mediums indicates that you can – after you cross over – enjoy a glorious reunion with those who transitioned from earth before you. What’s more, you probably won’t have to wait until then to experience the presence of your dear ones.
Many people have experienced after-death communications (ADC) while awake via the usual senses or more ethereal ones. Others report vivid dreams of visiting with ‘departed’ loved ones that gave a lasting peace and assurance they are alive and well. How can you increase the chances of having an ADC? Pray and intend to sense your loved one’s presence; meditate to quiet your brain that filters out most of reality; spend time in nature and talk to them as though they are right there.
For more information about ADC’s see article #23 After Death Communications. To learn about how to increase the chance of perceiving a dear one who has changed worlds, see article #9 Visiting ‘Departed’ Loved Ones Now. To learn more about the technique I created that uses deep relaxation, visit Facilitated After-Death Contact Technique .
Take a few moments and consider your beliefs about ADCs. Do you think they are possible? Have you had one or more? Remember that such experiences may seem subtler, more fleeting, and even imaginary when compared to the seeming solidity on earth.
Watch Talking to Heaven, a marvelous movie based on medium James Van Praagh’s book. The scene with the old man dying and his reunion with beloved people and pets who had transitioned from earth before him is especially heart-warming. It’s an accurate portrayal of the celebration that occurs when people complete their earthly lessons and have a fuller view of the big picture of life.
2. Remember to celebrate since he graduated from earth-school
Many cultures throw a party when a loved one’s physical form dies. Why? Because they know he has completed his reasons for being on earth at this time. They also know about #1 so they better accept that life and love are never-ending, but periodically changing. You can do the same.
Several friends from different cultures casually say things like, ‘I dreamed my grandma up last night.’ When I ask what that means, they describe purposely visiting their dear grandmother – who passed on many years ago – while sleeping. Others describe talking to their postmaterial loved ones just as they do those on earth.
The knowledge from points #1 and 2 allows you to experience sadness and pain after a loved one crosses over, and – at the same time – feel joy and peace that they are enjoying the next stage of life. It’s similar to the bitter-sweet feelings you might have experienced when your children graduate from high school: you’re happy they completed that level of studies, but sad they will be leaving home.
3. Remember she is having a wonderful experience
Unless your departed loved one was named Hitler or another apparently dastardly villain, she is having a great time.Here’s one way to appreciate how wonderful her life is – or eventually will be – in the next realm.
Recall your very best days while on earth —your happiest, healthiest, and most energetic. Then multiply that by a million. That’s how good it feels to return to the Light or, more accurately, remember you are an integral part of Life now and forever.
Here’s another way to envision how magnificent it can feel to graduate from earth school. Imagine how awful your feet would feel after walking all day in a pair of ill-fitting shoes. Now consider how wonderful it would feel to slip them off and soak your feet in a tub of warm water. That is just a fraction of how good it feels to drop your body – especially when you are aged, depressed, or chronically ill and tired.
To paraphrase Kahlil Gibran, ‘When your bodily limbs have died, then shall you truly dance.’
Does this sound too good to be true? If so, I get it. Life on earth can involve so many disappointments and struggles that it’s hard to believe in good news. That’s why it’s so important to learn the evidence that life continues after bodily death. It’s also vital to know that each of us can enjoy a heavenly afterlife. To learn more about this topic, see article #14: Heaven and Hell: What Are They Really?
Breathe deeply again as you remember – for your essence knows this very well – that physical death is just an opening to another realm. The afterlife is much like your time on earth in that you choose – moment by moment – to create a more heavenly or hellish state of being. No matter where you are living, you create your own reality by your collective thoughts, words, and deeds.
But it can be easier to see life’s big picture – the greater reality – after dropping the earthly body and being free from the limiting body / brain and density of earth. Postmaterial persons can enjoy a more unobstructed view of All That Is.
4. Make your life a work of ART
A.R.T. is an acronym for Appreciate, Realize, and Transform. When a loved one’s physical body dies, you can consciously choose to . . .
- Appreciate the time you spent together, wonderful memories, and that she is now joyful, peaceful, and whole.
- Realize you will see him again when you pass on, and can likely learn to sense his presence now.
- Transform yourself positively to honor and create more meaning to her life. This also helps you enjoy higher levels of living and serve others better.
Each time you start to feel sad, lonely, discouraged, etc. remind yourself that you can shift your focus. To learn more, see article #41: The A.R.T. Technique.
Take a moment to think about a difficult event in your life and how you can apply the A.R.T. formula. Now consider another one. Doing this will create the habit of focusing on more positive emotions. You will then be prepared when the next big change or challenge occurs.
Take another deep breath to center and remember. Rachel wrote me about the time since her son graduated from this phase of life into the next: “The past eleven months have been a time of the greatest pain, yet also the most growth I’ve ever experienced.” What an amazing statement! And that is how it can be for everyone. Rachel is now helping others with her mediumistic skills that burgeoned after her son’s passing.
5. Know what your loved ones are probably trying to tell you
You can visit a medium in hopes of getting specific messages from your dear ones who have changed worlds. However, some mediums are outright fakes while others are mediocre. See article #6 Evidential Mediums for a list of great ones who can likely provide specific bits of information that leave no doubt your ‘deceased’ loved one is still alive.
Postmaterial persons share very similar messages: they want you to:
- be happy and peaceful now
- know they are very much alive and well
- not worry about them
- fully enjoy your time on earth
- know you will see each other again
- release any guilt and self-blame for anything you did or didn’t do before
The Holistic Breathwork Technique can help you become more clear so you can sense what they would say to you.
6. Realize that death is an important and safe part of life
We all have wondered, “Why do we have to die? Why can’t everyone just live forever?” The answers to these common questions are simple:
a. No one really dies; we just change outward form
b. We all do live forever – just not in this earthly body
Admittedly, bodily death looks like the end of existence if you only trust what your five senses report. That’s why it’s so important to learn the collective evidence and expand your mind.
Also, imagine how boring and stifling a constant sameness would be. Here’s one way to explore this: think of your favorite movie of all time. Then ask yourself, “Would you want to watch that movie all day and every day for eternity?” Of course not.
Well, it’s very much the same way with life. Souls love variety, expansion, challenge, and adventure—not safe stagnation. Life is designed for perpetual change. It’s a great setup when you release fear, remember life continues before and after bodily death, and realize there’s meaning to it all.
Have you ever found yourself wishing you could freeze time so things would never change? It’s a natural thought, especially for those times when everything seemed optimal for you. But a little contemplation about this will help you realize how bad a plan that would be. If you need more proof, watch the movie Groundhog Day over and over and over . . .
7. Use and share gifts of your postmaterial loved ones
Various cultures believe that post-material persons can send spiritual gifts to their loved ones after graduating from earth school. Some people have noticed improvements in their outlook and energy after a dear one passes on. Perhaps they received an energetic gift from those who moved on to higher energy realms.
You are an energetic being living in an energy universe. Your interactions result in a literal exchange of particles and waves. Just imagine the transfer of love, ideas, and inspiration that can occur with your loved ones change worlds. You can use this to lighten your grief, and help heal and transform yourself and the world.
Three slow deep breaths please. Key #7 is an especially important one to go deeper with. Think back to when a loved one crossed over. With the benefit of hindsight, can you identify ways in which you became better, for example, a more expansive view of life? Did you seem to inherit one or more positive attributes that you admired in them?
8. Lean on others
As the classic song by Bill Withers encourages, we need to lean on each other at times. Some people, even while in severe pain and grief, don’t want to bother others. Others may consciously or unconsciously believe they don’t really deserve help or needing help is a sign of weakness.
You’ll be surprised by how many people are glad and honored to help. When you get back on your feet, you can pay it forward and assist someone else. It’s an elegant model for following the Golden Rule and getting through life’s tough times.
Many love-focused, open-minded, and service-oriented churches and organizations exist to help others. My personal favorites include Unity, Centers for Spiritual Living (Religious Science and Science of Mind), Unitarian-Universalist, and United Church of Christ (UCC). I’ve also found much wisdom and many wonderful people at Native American events as well as Buddhist and Hindu meditation and yoga centers. Find your tribe members – discover where your kindred spirits congregate and start leaning.
Also consider family members, friends, co-workers, and holistic care givers (doctors, counselors, ministers, etc.) Do you have an extended network of loving and supportive people? If not, how can you expand your support team now to help you through current or future tough times?
Years ago, my first patient of the day came in looking quite haggard and tired. I knew something was wrong with Roberta and asked what was going on. She said, “Oh, my husband died.” Over the years, we had talked about my work in the field of afterlife studies. I gave my condolences and asked, “When did he die?” “Four hours ago,” she replied.
I was shocked. “Roberta, we like our patients to keep their appointments, but certainly would understand you missing this one.” “That’s what all my family said,” she said. “But I told them that, at a time like this, there wasn’t anyone I would rather be around than Dr. Pitstick.” I was honored to be there for her and she benefited as well.
9. Remember you are never alone and have everything you need to survive this. Much evidence indicates that you are always supported, assisted, and guided within and from all around. Depending on your religious beliefs / spiritual perspective, or lack thereof, this unseen help may be seen as:
a.) a support team of angels, guides, master teachers, and soul mates
b.) higher energy assistance
c. info-energy that is always accessible in a unified and interconnected Universe
Whatever your model, know that you are never alone. The movie Talking to Heaven based on the book by medium James Van Praagh contains one of the best depictions I’ve seen of this. (Watch the film and you’ll know which scene I’m talking about.)
In addition, you have everything you need within to handle all of life’s changes and challenges with style. I know it may not seem that way at times, but that’s one reason why we, as timeless beings of energy, choose adversity: to dig down deep, learn the depth of our potentials, and discover how magnificent life really is. Having a child pass on is extremely difficult. However, it is a new moment in which you can better understand and demonstrate who you are and what you are capable of.
10. Realize you and your loved one may be experiencing other realities now.
Terms for this concept include bilocation, multilocation, parallel realities, and simultaneous realities. There is some clinical evidence – as well as theoretical physics and mathematical models – indicating that at least some people can have more than this earthly experience simultaneously. See article #75 Multilocation: Are You Having Simultaneous Life Experiences Now? to learn more.
This view holds that only about 25% of your energy is needed to have an earthly experience. The rest can manifest in other times and places as formed or formless beings. If this is true, you and your child may be in another realm together right now. You two might be watching impassively, as if watching a movie, your struggling earth-bound versions and cheering you on to remember the big picture of life.
Consider the following answers to commonly asked questions and take action steps that feel right for you . . .
Q: How do I know for sure that my loved one’s soul / essence / energy is still alive?
A: A vast amount of scientific, clinical, and firsthand experience evidence now clearly shows that physical death is not the end of life. This evidence is presented in my book and documentary film Soul Proof, and the Greater Reality Livingbook co-authored by me and Gary E. Schwartz PhD. These books contain many referenced findings by leading scientists, university professors, physicians, and psychologists who agree that the question of after-death survival has been fully and affirmatively answered.
Q: Why did my dear one’s body die now?
A: The bottom line? It was time for him to move into the next phase of forever. A longer answered is woven throughout this article.
Q: Did she suffer before passing on?
A: Some evidence suggests that consciousness detaches when death is imminent. As such, pain and fear may not have registered as much as you think. Medically, it is called physiological shock. Spiritually / energetically, it’s a reminder that one’s life force exists independently of the body and brain.
I’ve interviewed numerous people who were shot, stabbed, or fell from great heights. All of them said the same thing: it was like they were punched and then they didn’t feel anything.
Even though her physical body may have looked afraid and in pain, the other 99.9% of who and what she is was likely watching it impassively from above. Her awareness / spirit likely had one foot in the next realm and was already glimpsing the peace, joy, and love therein.
Q: Where is he now?
A: Consciousness / soul is not restricted by space and time. As such, he might stand right next to you and, at the same time, enjoy other life experiences in the field of all possibilities. There is some evidence for multilocation: your dear one and everyone else may unconsciously experience other slices of life — including Heaven / Home / The Really Really Place — right now. After the limiting brain — that filters out much of reality — perishes, your loved one may consciously perceive these different parts of the greater reality simultaneously.
Q: Is he alright?
A: He is much more than alright. His current abode is characterized by joy, love, peace, gratitude, enthusiasm, and much more.
We have good indications of what it feels like to drop the body from ten thousand people who had documented near-death experiences. Many people who were clinically dead describe it this way: recall your one hundred best days on earth – your happiest, healthiest, and most energetic. Now multiple that by one million and you get an idea of how good it feels to enter the Light again. Or, more accurately, how wonderful it feels to remember that you always were and will be an integral and beloved part of Source.
Q: Is she still with me? I’m having fleeting experiences of her while awake and dreaming that give me more peace and hope.
A: Those may be actual after death communications, thus the feelings of peace and hope. To learn more, read article #28 After-Death Communications.
Q: How can I communicate with my loved ones who have passed on?
A: To learn more about how you can do this, read article #9: Visiting With Your “Departed” Loved Ones Now. To increase the probability of enjoying their presence, use the Facilitated After-Death Contact technique. Another way to contact them is to work with a highly skilled medium who has been independently evaluated and found to be reputable. To learn more, see article #6 Evidential Mediums.
Q: Why is it so painful when loved ones pass on?
A: It’s natural to miss the physical body, hugs, voice, smile, and so on. Most people feel it’s worth all the love, memories, and great times – especially since you will see each other again. If you didn’t feel sad, you wouldn’t be human.
Q: How can I survive the holidays?
A: Be prepared for the first set of holidays and anniversaries since those can be the toughest. One way to survive the suffering is to choose – moment by moment – to focus on:
– Appreciation for the time you spent together and wonderful memories
– Realization that you will see your loved one again
– Transforming yourself positively to honor her life, create more meaning to her life
and passing, and be more on the same wavelength
The first letters of these three steps spell ART. You can make your life a work of art when you move your mind / heart onto a higher energy subject each time you feel sad, lonely, discouraged, etc. (To learn more, see article #41 The A.R.T. Technique)
You now stand at a fork in life’s road. Will you mainly focus on sadness, loss, pain, guilt, blame, anger, etc.? Or will you instead feel gratitude for your time together, excitement about seeing each other again, and resolve to create meaning to their life? Will you look for opportunities to better grow and serve others?
Surviving, and even thriving, after the physical death of a loved one is different for everyone. Other recommendations to quicken and lighten that process include:
- Use the Holistic Breathing technique to release excess sadness, pain, fear, guilt, hopelessness, and other emotions that people often feel when a loved one passes on.
- Read article #12 Seven Keys to Holistically Fine-Tune Yourself to learn how to more quickly and optimally heal.
- Use the Ask Your Soul technique to access your inner wisdom about how to best grieve, transform, and handle life’s changes and challenges.
- Listen to free Radio Shows in which I and other consciousness experts provide meaningful answers to the deep questions you are likely asking.
Over time, most people increasingly realize their loved ones are very much alive, well, and near. They are – or soon will be after rest and rehabilitation – happy, peaceful, and living fully in the here and now moment. And they want you to be the same way now.
All of this doesn’t totally and immediately remove the grief and sadness, but it does lighten it over time. In addition, your suffering can serve others and enlighten you. And those are the reasons souls volunteer to go through such pain: to grow, serve, remember their true nature, and expand love and peace in our world.
I hope this article – and action steps taken – help you feel more happy, healthy, peaceful, clear, reassured, and energetic. You deserve to feel that way and the world needs your greatest gifts and light.
* * * * * * *
Thank you for telling others about this article! Your life, and that of others around you, will be more enriched when you:
- read the article again so you really know it.
- discuss with close family and friends to more deeply internalize it.
- take action steps that seem right for you.
- share it with others via social media, discussion groups, and other ways.
Hugs, love, blessings, and let it shine!
Mark
Mark Pitstick, MA, DC
author, lecturer, counselor, and holistic physician
spokesperson, research assistant, and strategic planner for the SoulPhone Project
founder of Greater Reality Living, Healing, Helping, and Sharing Programs
SoulProof.com SoulPhone.org GreaterRealityPrograms.com
Mark Pitstick, MA, DC is an author, master’s level clinical psychologist, holistic chiropractic physician, clinical nutritionist, frequent media guest, and webinar / workshop teacher. He has also helped others in pastoral counseling and suicide prevention / education settings. His goal is to help you know and show – no matter what is happening to or around you – that this earthly experience is a totally safe, meaningful, and magnificent adventure amidst eternity.
The Greater Reality LIVING, HEALING, HELPING, and SHARING Programs include free online and in-person groups that share information and resources from Dr. Pitstick, Dr. Gary Schwartz, and other experts about the nature of reality, creating an optimal earthly experience, helping others and our world, and the afterlife. Click on the ‘Greater Reality Programs’ top tab at SoulProof.com and SoulPhone.org to learn more about these programs that are described in articles #72, 82, 119, and 122 at SoulProof.com/Articles.
SoulProof.com provides many FREE resources:
- 8 e-books Radiant Wellness, Soul Proof, The Eleven Questions, Greater Reality Living, The Big Picture of Life, The Afterlife Evidence, Ask the Soul Doctor, and Shining Light Parents Speak
- 10 audio programs Holistic Breathing; Afterlife Contact; Ask Your Soul, Angels, and The Light; Pre-Birth Planning; Identify and Fulfill Your Purposes AND Enjoy Your Greatest Life; Your Life Review; Appreciate, Realize, and Transform; Love, Acceptance, and Forgiveness; Past Life Regression; Heal and Transform Your Suffering
- 4 audio books (Greater Reality Living, Soul Proof, Radiant Wellness, and Shining Light Parents Speak; we don’t have control over the others)
- 125 Articles (as of 3/1/25) answering the most commonly asked questions and providing holistic solutions for your toughest challenges
- 25 Radio Shows: interviews with experts on consciousness, afterlife, and creating an optimal earthly experience. These include Wayne Dyer, Brian Weiss, Anita Moorjani, Raymond Moody, Michael Newton, Caroline Myss, and others.
- 27 Videos on different pages
- Monthly newsletters (subscriber sign-up at bottom of each website page)
Instead of payment, he asks that you: (1) fully use and appreciate the products, (2) share them with others, and (3) help others in ways you feel called, that is, pay it forward.
The following are also available for a fee:
- 8 printed books Radiant Wellness, Soul Proof, The Eleven Questions, Greater Reality Living, The Big Picture of Life, The Afterlife Evidence, Ask the Soul Doctor, and Shining Light Parents Speak
- Coaching / Counseling Sessions with Dr. Pitstick by Zoom to gain answers to your biggest questions and holistic solutions to your toughest challenges.
Note: This article is intended as a reference source, not to replace professional treatment for physical, emotional, or mental problems. The author disclaims any liability arising directly or indirectly from the voluntary use of action steps discussed in article.
I created this article while ‘wearing the hat’ of a clinician, counselor, and educator. My statements are based upon some scientific research; much clinical and experiential evidence; my personal experiences; and my best current understandings. This program does not reflect my roles with the SoulPhone Project since those require solid scientific data for all statements.
